Driver's License

Carol and I actually got our licenses several months ago, but it was so horrible, I can only now talk about it. We got to the DVM in Caguas at 8:30, and reported to a class about the license test. What I didn't know was that the class was only available in Spanish (the test itself is available in English and Spanish). I don't speak Spanish, so the entire class was wasted on me. Carol speaks flawless Spanish, but she could hardly understand a word the woman said, so I doubt that Spanish would have helped me.

There were no manuals for the test in English or Spanish because "they haven't come in."

So we took the test cold. It was brutal, with questions like "What is the fine for drag racing on a public road?". There were a half a dozen questions about specific fines alone, and we both pretty much guessed. I got a 70 on the test (the minimum required to pass), and Carol got a 95.

The worst part was getting our names right, which took us two hours. They insisted on Carol using the name on her birth certificate (Puerto Rican women on the island do not adopt their husband's last name). We had to go to a lawyer, conveniently located in the building, to certify that she was know by at least three names. Similarly, they insisted that I use my mother's maiden name, which I could not even spell. The helpful woman running the show suggested that perhaps I didn't have a mother, and that I dropped from a plantain tree. She was visibly offended that I didn't want to use my mother's maiden name. We finally convinced her that we needed to use the names that appeared on all of our other documents, such as credit cards, deed to the house, etc. We also had to produce Puerto Rico voter registration cards, US passports, Mass driver's licenses, birth certificates, and our marriage certificate, which we had to return home for.

We finally got our licenses at 5 PM, and there was much joy.